I was addicted to painkillers for about 10 years. By 2009 i needed at least 10 - 80mg oxycontins daily. I thought about quitting the habit every single day and even felt confident i could quit IF i just had enough of a supply so i could ween off. That was impossible mostly because when i was properly dosed and feeling 'good' it was easy to deny the urgency of the problem and i fell into 'tomorrow i will start to ween'.
I finally got myself arrested (subconsciously i probably did it on purpose in hindsight) and was forced to quit.
Towards the end of 2009 i explained my situation to my family doc and he agreed to give me methadone tablets (40mg/day) until i could find a Suboxone doctor. I started Suboxone in February of 2010. I was on withdrawal from the methadone for only a day when i took the first 8mg tablet of Sub under my tongue. It was nothing like any drug i had ever done to get high because the only thing i noticed was the subtle disappearance of the withdrawal symptoms in about 30 minutes. No more yawning, my running nose dried up and i felt normal. Feeling normal was not familiar to me because i had not been off painkillers without withdrawal symptoms for almost a decade. It took some getting used to but i soon made friends with this new 'normal' feeling and have been that way ever since. I have not cheated but i have tried to ween off the suboxone with no success. Until a few months ago i had been taking the brand name tablets under my tongue 8/2mg twice a day. But the brand name tablets are not made any longer so i switched to the generic but there is a definite difference in strength and duration. The brand name tabs lasted so long i could skip almost 2 days with very little change. With the generics i begin to feel my nose running and the yawning start before 24 hours is up. I am still determined to quit but suffering some sort of withdrawal seems to be inevitable.
I also tried the film but i don't like it because it has a harsh aftertaste.
Should I get the vivatrol shot?
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